I try to remember her like this when bitty girl {now a HUGE three…sniff} is talking my head off.
She was communicating even then.

This morning I was going to sleep in.  Now, sleeping in around here is usually not what most people think of sleeping in.  BUT hubby got E up and out the door for school and I was going to sleep.  I’m an active person and sometimes my mind is the most active in the middle of the night.  Poor Brad – last night I was WIRED.  So, finally crashing at the early hours of today I was going to sleep in.  

Little bit didn’t get the message.  Oops.  7:20 and these are my first thoughts for the morning:

Mixed blessings… bitty girl wakes up eager to engage the world. Usually happy, singing, and full of life. She’s a spark that refuses to not be heard. Mixed blessing – because, the older I get, the LESS I’m like this. I could use a full hour of mind numbing staring into nothingness as I urgently sip the dark brew of clarity. That’s coffee for those of you who somehow missed her addictive qualities. I didn’t – I need it to think more than three words or whisper “Mommy’s not awake, yet”. I need some Solomon’s Porch Cafe & Catering “Hylander’s Cream”.

I finally crawl out of bed – get her cherrios {Trader Jo’s are the BEST EVER} and yogurt and super why.  Don’t judge.  Brew my cup of sanity.

She comes in.  “Mommy, I’m done watching”.

Who do I have to blame?  I raised her this way.  I didn’t want her addicted to media.

But I didn’t think of my own addiction.  So, how horrid is it that right now I wish she would watch?